What are the odds the WWE and Raptors would cross paths again this season. But just like in Phoenix earlier in the season the two have ended up in Cleveland. So how could we pass on the opportunity to have some more fun. The simple answer is we can't. So here we go with round 2 of the WWE invading once again in to Raptorland.
(The Raptors are holding a team meeting at their hotel to prepare for tomorrow's game vs the Cavs)
Dwane Casey: Alright guys now we have to find a way to finish off games and get some wins.
Raptors: We know coach Pound The Rock.
( Dwayne Johnson enters the meeting room and goes unnoticed )
The Rock: Pound the Rock? Your the Toronto Raptors you are not pounding nothing. The Rock is from Miami where we actually have a good basketball team. We even made your former star into something down in Miami because that is how we roll. You guys are not nothing, Barney The Dinosaur could whip all your candy asses.
Jaamal: What's up Dwayne. You remember me?
The Rock: I remember you. Lebron James was at the Rock's Party and he told me that they had a Canadian on the team. I said to him get the hell out of here with your drunk butt. No Mother Canucker that isn't white and named Steve Nash can play basketball. So he called you over. I asked where you were from. You said Toronto. So that was when I pointed you out to security and you got thrown out.
Dwane Casey: Alright enough catching up. I invited him here to talk to you guys. If you won't pound The Rock maybe you will listen to one.
The Rock: That's right you bunch or Jabroni's so you need to know your roles, shut your mouths and listen to someone that has actually been successful. Kobe Bryant has the Kobe System but I have something better. The People's System. What is the people's system about? All about greatness. You see for whatever reason you guys have millions...ok thousands of loyal fans. Why I have no idea but you do. So listen to The Rock you need to listen to The People.
Aaron Gray: Sorry to interrupt but you know Zack Ryder right?
The Rock: Who in the blue hell are you?
Aaron Gray: Well I am the Team MVP. If I am following the logic of your system?
The Rock: WOH!!WOH!!WOH!!!!
Aaron Gray: Woo Woo Woo. You know it.
The Rock: The Rock said Woh not Woo. What is your name?
Aaron Gray: Aaron
The Rock: It doesn't matter what you name is. All that matters is that you Just Bring It!!! I bring it 365, 24/7, I have more followers on Twitter than this entire team. All you have to do is bring it for 48 mins a night. 60 seconds just 48 times. If you Smellllllla OW WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!
(Rock leaves the room)
Dwane Casey: See that is all it takes guys.
(Knock at the Door one of assistant coaches answers and Santino enters the Room)
Bargnani: Not you again.
Santino: I am sorry about the last time. But I just came to apologize and show you my United States Championship.
(Aaron Gray Gets up out of his chair and grabs the belt away from Santino)
Aaron Gray: You don't deserve this belt. It should be Zack Ryder's he was robbed.
Santino: Listen you. That title she is mine. Give it back.
(Aaron Gray holds the belt over Santino's head and he jumps and finally knocks it out of Gray's hand and it lands on Bayless foot.)
Bayless: Damn it...I think you just broke my foot.
(Santino grabs his title and runs out the door)
Dwane Casey: So I guess that means Gary you will be starting and point guard and Leandro will be your back up.
Barbosa: Sorry Coach I just got a text. It seems I have been traded to the Lakers so I have to go. I want to thank you all for motivating me these past two years to remember how much I miss winning. I needed that.
(Another knock at the door. Again the assistant coach goes to answer the door. At the door is John Laurinaitis and he enters the room and whispers something in Dwane Casey's Ear)
John Laurinatis: My name is John Laurinatis and I am the former head of talent relations and former general manager of Monday Night Raw.
(Howard Finkel ducks his head in the door)
The Fink: AND NEW!!!!
John Laurinatis: President and General Manger of the Toronto Raptors. Now I have already wished Leandro Barbosa the best in his future endeavors with the Lakers. I traded him for Derek Fisher so now you have a point guard. I think you will find I am fair and open person. I have lots of great ideas to improve the Raptors and make us the highest rated basketball program in Canada.
Demar DeRozan: What happened to Bryan?
John Laurinatis: He was looking for a new more realistic challenge so he took over my old job with the WWE. But I promise you that I will make you all winners like me.
Amir Johnson: What exactly do you know about basketball?
John Laurinatis: Aside from the fact we get higher ratings than you guys when we go head to head on Monday Nights not a lot. But I am a fast learner and I will get you scoring touchdowns before you know it.
Raptors: A Collective Sigh
John Laurinatis: We are going to do are best to lose the rest of our games. You are already good at that so we are going to focus on the positives. I am using this new innovative idea that I read about trending on Twitter called Tanking. So to paraphrase the late Al Davis. Just Lose Baby!!!
(C.M Punks walks in and is clapping his hands.)
C.M Punk: That is a great speech. Losing is for Losers. Just Brilliant. I thought you guys had problems when we met up in Arizona. Now you guys are pretty much doomed. But I do want to thank you on behalf of all the WWE Superstars. Johnny Clown Shoes is your problem now. So before I go is there any Chris Brown fans in the house?
(Raptors all nod no)
C.M Punk: There might be hope for you guys yet. Oh by the way Johnny all the guys chipped in and your car is being towed to Mexico as our going away gift. If you run you might be able to catch up with the tow truck.
(C.M Punk Leaves followed by John Laurinatis running out of the room)
Dwane Casey: I never signed up for this mess. I think I am understanding why you guys have lost for so long. It was never the coach, or the GM it was ownership they are clearly insane.
( Suddenly entering the room is Vince McMahon)
Vince McMahon: I am here to inform you all that I Vincent Kennedy McMahon am now your boss. I have renamed the company McMahon Limited Sports & Entertainment. So I expect you guys to go out there and lose. If not your all FIRED!!! I will not be embarrassed like the XFL ever again. So you will Tank the rest of season or else.
So that about does it for another episode of Raw is Raptors. We could have done a preview of the Cavs vs Raptors but this was a way to just have some fun and not repeat the same things we seem to have been for most of this season. Hope you enjoyed it. Also speaking of fun were having another March Madness Pool if you care to take part.